Thanks once again to the Phoenix city bus system, the birthplace of many great strokes of honorary genius, I was able to realize something today; when it comes to malodorous individuals, senior citizens are bar none, the most foul smelling creatures roaming God's green earth. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure your granny smells halfway decent after a shower, however I'd feel its fairly safe to wager that the majority of bus riders in the 70+ age bracket consider a quick wipe down with a wet nap an ample bathing regimen for the week. Whats more, I have it on good authority that the working title for Al Pacino's smash hit, "The Scent of a Woman" was actually, "The Scent of a Woman 25 and Under". Today's encounter with the elderly left me thoroughly nauseous and terrified of my impending birthday...another year closer to reeking of the odd cornucopia that is impending death. Ive taken the liberty, dear reader, of calculating the precise scent of a 70 year old woman. You can pile on the anti-aging cream and re-harness those breasts all you want, but you cant fight the truth...especially from a walker.
If you are 70 and above, you smell of the following:
Gravy
Baby powder
Raw eggs
An ace bandage
A jar of old pills
Urine
A canister of tennis balls
Sour strawberry yogurt
Posts
1 comment:
Hysterical!!! Now imagine having to scrub all the nasty dead skin off her body or massage her scoliosis ridden spine.
Post a Comment