Calling all Martins!

Okay. So I have a plan...I have a friend named Melaine. Melanie has a fiance named Martin, and we are going to make Melanie's fiance famous! Everyone will be using his name...but i need your help.

Your job will be to take a picture of every "MARTIN" you see from here on out.

We are going to publish a book, hand out fliers, do whatever it takes to make MARTIN a household name.

I want to hear people saying things like:

Oh my god, Becky, I got super drunk last night and totally went home with a MARTIN!

or

In theory I like black guys, but it seems like I always end up falling for a MARTIN.

or

Doug is such a MARTIN!

Once we get like 100 REALLY GOOD MARTINS we will make a book and distribute accordingly. I started making a list of "What makes a MARTIN."I will share this with you now...

Martins have floppy, goofy, or non-gender specific hairstyles.

Martins become concerned about strange things at odd times.

Martins may or may not wear glasses. (They're probably wearing glasses).

Are Martins ever really comfortable?

Martins dart haphazardly.

Martins enjoy possessing objects that require a users manual.

Martins are highly allergic to something common.

Martins ask for something not on the menu at a specialty restaurant.

Martins bruise easily and require odd creams to prevent reoccurring rashes.

Martins lack a certain social lubricant.

All Martins will wear a bee keeping mask at one time or another.

Martins make an odd clicking noise in the back of their throat when they are feeling anxious.

I see many volumes of YOU'RE SUCH A MARTIN being published for years to come.

What do you think of my flawless plan?

Can I count on you not to sell my idea to the Vatican and or the Claussen pickle conglomorate?

Hit me on my beeper.