The shirt off your back...

If I had to quantify my own personal fashion influences, it might be safe to say that the following could possibly be true:

I am...

• 31% Thrift Store-Goodwill, Savers, DIA...you name it, I can fabricate some type of noteworthy outfit from its bowels.
• 22% Elderly Chic-orthopedic shoes/old sweaters/vintage shorts/large sunglasses.
• 14% Plain tees and accessories-gets the job done while leaving the focus on my charming face.
• 9% Mismatching-outfits make more sense when they don’t make sense. (You follow?)
• 8% Vintage tees-Says "I'm cool" in a time-worn way.
• 7% Belt-belts have kept waists and hips separated for centuries, I’m sure there is good reason for this.
• 6% Duck Butt Hair Flips-the back of my hair is actually a part of my outfit, it's that important.
• 2% Emphatically anti-sandal-flip flops are only acceptable in the comfort of your own home. The only exceptions to this rule are 1. beachwear and 2. poolwear. Beyond that, I'm not budging.
• 1% Socks and Lotion-I wear them so they count.

From this fairly reasonable facsimile of my tastes one might be able to cipher my great esteem for used clothes; consignment, vintage, hand me downs, recycled outfits, et. al...in fact I am probably redressing myself in your likeness as we speak...and this my friends, is where it begins to get a bit interesting.

If you are anything like me, you find yourself marveling at the fashions others pour themselves into daily. I often find myself thought-quoting myself by thinking things like; "Wow, her bodysuit looks dope!", or "Holy heck, his overalls would make me look fly!" And that is why, after seeing this particular man on the bus today (let's call him Jesus because it just feels right) I ended up "kicking myself in the hoo-hole" as I ultimately neglected to barter for his finery:

Oh, whats that? Pretty drab you say? Well then obviously you don't know how to read, or haven't read his shirt very closely. Oh you can't seem to make it out? Then let me help you. It says, "Out of my way! I'm late for BINGO!" (A sentiment I think we can all relate too).

Detail: If you can't make that out for yourself try putting on your glasses upside down, or just take my word for it, the shirt was a gem. But alas, Jesus was not the most fastidious of individuals when it came to personal hygiene, and thus I had to bow out on this shirt-swap.

P.S. Yes, Jesus was carrying a box of honeydews.

P.P.S. It's a fact that the honeydew is called 'The Money Melon' because honeydew what honey-wants-to-do.