Apology letter:

The 20$ in this envelope is for the piñata I took from your store front last night. You probably thought you hung them high enough off the ground so that most people couldn’t reach them. I’m not most people. I can assure you that I put the piñata to very good use and I can also promise you that if I had waited to come back to buy the piñata today, during normal business hours, the events of last night just simply wouldn’t have come to be and that would have been an historic disaster as far as the fate of my loins is concerned. Your involvement in this matter is of utmost concern and if by chance I have underestimated the value of your beautiful piñatas, I wish to offer my apologies and make amends. If this is the case, I would also like to beseech you sir, to stop overpricing your piñatas on behalf of others like me, who believe that beating the crap out of cute cardboard creatures should really be as cheap as it feels.