The creatures in my medicine cabinet are coming to get you...

My friends find these things to be creepy. They are barely bloodthirsty, stupids.

How to eat your own head:

1. Start with your lips. They are close to your teeth which makes them a good place begin.
2. Move on to your forehead. It has crunchy bits that may take up to an hour to digest.
3. Try not to swallow any hair or lashes unless you like things that taste strange and give you eggy farts.
4. Open a canister of nuts. (This should be obvious).
5. Once you eat your teeth, you should be full.
6. If you are still hungry try a babies head or the head of a giant squid.

YOU JUST ATE YOUR FIRST HEAD.
Now its time to talk about how you feel.

Sea Cow vs. Thunder Horse II

Thunder Horse: If we built an igloo out of bologna slices, do you think we could sublet it to a n ambitious Oscar Meyer intern?

Sea Cow: No, but maybe we could find a Claussen representative.

Thunder Horse: Hey what's that on your finger?

Sea Cow: Oh, it's a baby squirrel toy I had glued on there. I got it on old fashioned under water day.

Here's a fun thing to do:

1. Go to a McDonald's drive through.
2. Ask if they serve "squirrel cones".
3. They will think you said swirl cones and say, "yes we do".
4. Order "two large squirrel cones, please." That will come to 2.14$
5. God bless America, where you can order two portions of squirrel for about 2 stupid dollars.