The Proust Questionaire

The Proust Questionnaire has its origins in a parlor game popularized (though not devised) by Marcel Proust, the French essayist and novelist, who believed that, in answering these questions, an individual reveals his or her true nature. Here is the basic Proust Questionnaire

1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
A redstripe, a huge blunt, a Jamacain beach, a bit of reggae in the background, and the entire afternoon to myself. Oh, and a really awesome new bathing suit that makes my junk look nice.

2. What is your greatest fear?
Having my talent go completely unappriciated/misunderstood.

3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My complacency with my current situation, more specifically my inability to commit to my creative dreams.

4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
American zombie consumerism/greed.

5. Which living person/s do you most admire?
Organic farmers/Carpenters.

6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Thrifting. I can justify any purchase at the Goodwill. haha.

7. What is your current state of mind?
Determined, with a hint of adventure and spontanious combustion.

8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Tidyness.

9. On what occasion do you lie?
To spare someones feelings.

10. What do you most dislike about your apperance?
I'm way too pale right now...

11. Which living person/s do you most dispise?
Meat eaters, litterbugs, cranky bitches.

12. What is the quality you most admire in a man?
Rugged sex appeal.

13. What is the quality you most admire in a woman?
Natural beauty.

14. Which words or phrases to you most overuse?
crap. crud. aw junk. pumpkin head.

15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
Following my heart and watching the universe open up amazing experiences for me.

16. When and where were you happiest?
*see question 1.

17. Which talent would you most like to have?
Respected quilter.

18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
I would spend more time on my personal goals and less time "having fun".

19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
My amazingly diverse collection of life-long friends.

20. If you were to die and come back as a person or thing, what would it be?
A bundle of cilantro. Fresh, delicious, green.

21. Where would you most like to live?
Overseas, France or Spain perhaps.

22. What is your most treasured possession?
Currently...Parker...although I know we should never attempt to "possess" a living thing...he is my "grab it in a fire" item for sure.

23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
Outliving your children.

24. What is your favorite occupation?
Comedian or Painter.

25. What is your most marked characteristic?
My delicious brains!

26. What do you most vaule in your friends?
Spontaneity and hilarity.

27. Who are your favorite writers?
Zadie Smith, Salaman Rushdie, Dr. Doris and Benny Haggis-on-whey.

28. Who is your favorite hero of fiction?
Robin Hood.

29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
Frida Kahlo

30. Who are your heros in real life?
Phillip C. Curtis, Janeane Garafalo, Jason Rudolph Pena, Sarah Silverman.

31. What are your favorite names?
Hazel Mermelstein. Ethyl Bivins....anything old and Jewish sounding really.

32. What is it you most dislike?
Arrogance

33. What is your greatest regret?
Repeating mistakes.

34. How would you like to die?
In a natural disaster.

35. What is your motto?
Create your own reality.

Attached is a link to the questions listed above. Gather some friends, dribble some wine, turn on some thought-worthy music and speak from the heart. Remember to write down and save your answers. Play again in a year and see how you've grown...

http://www.vanityfair.com/magazine/archive/proust_questionnaire

The Haunted Sponge

It wasn't a "phantom waffle," but the syrup was somewhat haunted though, as was the sponge I used to clean up my waffle smudge after. Terrified of the possible outcome of possessing such a sponge, I locked the sponge in a metal box, buried it in the basement and turned in for the night. The next morning the sponge was under my pillow. I tried to send it back to the company, but that didn't work either as the manufacturer did not have an exchange policy. The sponge kept appearing in my jacket pocket, and as a matter of fact, I'd better stop typing now. I can see the sponge watching me from my patio and he looks a little bit nervous... but mostly just bloodthirsty.

This piece was an submission for the site, http://sixsentences.blogspot.com/ , an online journal. It was accepted for publication! (My first!). The rules for the site are as follows; you get six sentences, no more, no less, to tell your story. All 'sixes' are reviewed and writers whos entries will be published are notified within six days. Great fun. Check it out!

another waffle post?

Meeting Brad had been something of a Cosmopolitan soaked blur, but after he had conceded to picking up her tab and bragging about his fondness for breakfast in bed, well a nightcap at his place quickly became a no brainer. Suzie wasn't an "easy" lady to get to know, but like many 30 somethings still fumbling for intimacy she was prone to getting wrapped up in the moment and wound up on certain odd Sunday mornings searching for her panties and her debit card while perched atop very cautious tip toes. As it was in her nature, Suzie immediately started to embellish last nights conquest as soon as she stepped onto the number 6 bus home from Brad's uptown flat. Turning to an elderly black woman who repeatedly dipped her cockled fingers into a can of fruit salad fishing for cherries, she exclaimed,"I recently started having sex for money."


When she said money, Suzie meant jewelry.


And by jewelry, Suzie I meant waffles.


This piece was an entry for the site, http://sixsentences.blogspot.com/, an online journal. It was not chosen for publication.