Before you start yellin'...you better check your spellin'!

A fact about myself that you may or may not be aware of is that I work for a "Luxury Resort". It's fancy...and so are all of our clientele (klee-un-tell). Sometimes I like to talk about them. I probably shouldn't expose their eccentricities so blatantly. But last time I checked...I just can't help it.

Imagine yourself, if you please, in my designer moccasins for this droll journey:

...so a particular lady of leisure calls in to our 'At Your Service' office (phone operators desk) inquiring as to the various amenities to be found at our resort; restaurants, spa, golf, etc...and, feeling enlightened to our mission then asks if there is a separate line she needs to call to book reservations? The AYS agent tells her that it would be our pleasure to connect her, or she could call 1-800-24-CAMEL directly. She says she will call momentarily as she wants to run everything by her husband before she books the room.

She calls back 20 minutes later and asks for the hotel manager...
Its 9:30pm.
Our GM has gone home.
So I say I'll take the call.

The lady explains the conversation she has had with the AYS agent, and says she was very nice and helpful, but when she asked for a direct phone number for reservations she was given the number to a phone sex company. I asked what number she was given, and she confirmed that it was "1-800-24-CAMEL", so I offered to dial that number and stay on the line with her.

In no time we were speaking to our reservation desk. She apologized and said she must have gotten a number wrong and then hung up quickly. I found this a bit odd since she didn't MAKE a reservation now that I had connected her...but I thought, eh...maybe she was just embarrassed that she called a phone sex line and then told us about it.

Funny stuff right?
Yeah...not over yet.

This same woman calls back 5 minutes later...and asks for a manager again...not knowing she is talking to me again she proceeds...

"Sir, I have to report your phone operator because she is telling people to call sex lines...I've called the number she gave me ten times and the person on the other end asks me if I want to have sex with a SHE-MALE!?"

Turns out she wasn't calling 1-800-24-CAMEL.... she was calling 1-800-24-CAMAL.
Go ahead and dial it, sure is a sex line.
I bet she doesn't book at our hotel though...

Meeting Heather.

The most amazing thing happened to me today on the bus to work. Riding the bus in Phoenix is always a treat and a chance to get some really good people watching in. Without a book or my ipod to entertain me today I found a seat near the front of the bus and gave the passengers a quick once over. Nothing overly exciting at first glance...but quickly something fascinating began to unfold. Sitting directly across from me was a lady in her early 40's. Plump, white, blonde, casually dressed. Nothing to write home about, I probably wouldnt have given her a second look save for the fact that I caught her at just the right moment. The woman to my right, Asian, blonde, Christian, was going on and on about some Bible passage and this lady across from us just kept shaking her head, which to me implied that she was disagreeing with her interpretation of said passage. Well she kept taking deep breaths, wringing her hands, and mouthing the words, "Its okay, its going to be okay" to herself. For a time I expected her to chime in with her two cents because she seemed to be getting pretty aggitated, but she never did. I began to consider that perhaps this woman has some sort of social anxiety and that this bus ride might be a really big deal for her. In any event, she managed to calm herself down and shortly thereafter I lost my interest. Bland, blonde, bore. Over it. I didnt really notice as we reached her stop, but as she stood up and passed by me to exit, she nervously blurted, "I'm Heather, by the way". I wasnt really sure that she was talking to me so I looked around to see if in fact this comment had been directed toward me. Determining that it was, I told Heather to have a great day and she quickly scuddled off the bus. I sort of laughed and looked around and said playfully to the girl next to me, "Ha, thats odd, Ive never met Heather before". Then from outside the bus, Heather popped her head back in and addressing me once more said, "You really should come visit me in Seattle this winter and I mean it." She took a few steps away from the bus and, changing her mind came back. "You can call me any time, any time". I cant help but wonder if Heather thought she knew me, or if she was confusing me with someone else. I like crazy Heather, probably as much as I liked the blonde Asian.